What Do I Desire?

from Tyler Pennel Running

“And after all, if you do really like what you’re doing, it doesn’t matter what it is, you can eventually turn it – you could eventually become a master of it. It’s the only way to become a master of something, to be really with it. And then you’ll be able to get a good fee for whatever it is. So don’t worry too much.”

– Alan Watts

For weeks I have sat down and tried to write my next blog, but I always allowed myself to get distracted. I could never really find the willingness to sit and focus. Due to my delaying, so much has happened, but the crucial change happened last week. On Wednesday, I started feeling some tightness and slight pain in my lower back and hip. I was able to complete 16 miles and core with little problem, only making a mental note of the discomfort. My run the next morning started with no pain and after 45 minutes, progressively worsened. I finished the 85 minutes, only because it was the shortest route back, but I knew that something was wrong, and not the ‘just a few days off and everything will be better’ kind of wrong. That night I limped around, knowing that it most likely would be a while until I was able to run again.

Over the next week, I was still limping around, but the pain had lessened. Since I could not walk pain free, I was not willing to even try running, especially with the risk that the injury could be a stress fracture. Less than a week after that last run, I found myself lying in an MRI machine, dosing off to the hums and pulsations. The following day, I received the call from the doctor. I had a stress fracture in my Sacrum. A week of hobbling around had helped me mentally prepare for this outcome, but it still was a hard pill to swallow. Mostly because it meant my chase for an Olympic spot is over for another four years.

So now, I am on the DL for the next 6 weeks, with orders to limit movement as much as possible. Which means I am catching up on some awesome TV shows. (True Detective might be the best drama besides Breaking Bad.) My racing schedule had included the BAA 5k this weekend, but I will still be there cheering on my teammates.

One of my favorite things to do is listen to different philosophical discourses on YouTube and before I sign off for another extended hiatus, I want to share one that I enjoy. It is by Alan Watts, who was an English philosopher that popularized the ideas of Eastern philosophy for a Western audience. Rather than comment on it, I would rather have you take it for what is worth to you.

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