I’ve been trying to figure out the reason(s) for my terrible race at the Olympic Trials prelim, and I haven’t come up with any totally convincing answers. I know I am in shape to PR (sub-9:29), but after three laps in the race, my body started to shut down, and I ended up running somewhere around 10:00.
There is no clear answer this time. I believe I did everything in my power this year to give myself the best possible opportunity to make an Olympic Team. Going into the Trials, and even on race day, I thought I was in a really good place – in my body, my mind, and my heart. I had times of being incredibly nervous, but I had skills in place to calm myself down. Yes, some things were off. My chronic heel pain had cropped up again in the past couple weeks. I was a couple pounds heavier than my pre-surgery race weight. But nothing life-shattering. I went through a list of other possibilities. Am I just the type of person who buckles during the most high-pressure events? I don’t always thrive, but I’ve also had some great performances at high-stakes, high-pressure races. I don’t think I’ve ever completely fallen apart without a good reason.
So how do you get past a hugely disappointing race without having any big issues to concentrate on or fix? I’m not entirely sure. But each day is getting better as I remind myself my failure was not a reflection of the worth of my person and as I find new goals to focus on. I’m in Europe and have three or four more races to use for going after new PR’s and prize money. I am not an Olympian, but I can still try my best to be a badass.
I’m not very pumped about it, but at least I get to drink alcohol and eat sugar again after a 10 month hiatus.