I Didn’t Think I Would Do It…

from B Team Running

I didn’t think I would do it. I actually laughed out loud at the absurdity of the suggestion; brushed it off and thought “what kind of crazy person actually does that”. But now…now I’ve changed my mind.

So let me start at the beginning. The suggestion actually came several weeks back…

In this day and age there is an app for everything. If you can think of it, then there’s an app for it. This is especially true for pregnancy. There are many types of apps that exist to keep you informed of the week-to-week changes in your baby’s growth and your body along the way. The apps even suggest activities to do that week, such as shop for nursery furniture or create a ‘birth plan’. I can’t actually admit to having one of these apps on my phone; partly because my phone already yells at me for having limited storage space and partly because I seem to be more the “figure it out as you go” type. However, I will admit to occasionally Google-ing my pregnancy week and clicking on one of the many options to read about that phase of pregnancy. On one of these occasions, I came across this activity for the week: “Write a letter to your baby.”…wait, what? Write a letter to my unborn child? Do people really take that seriously? I wonder how many people actually do that? Certainly not me! The idea seemed ridiculous. Pointless. Weird. I laughed it off and even told Darren about it just so he could share in the humor of it.

Well, fast-forward several weeks to the present time. For some reason the suggestion popped back into my head. Not so much in the “I want to write a letter to my baby” way but more as the idea that, by documenting our journey on this blog, Darren and I have already, in our own way, been writing our little girl a letter. We’ve been telling her our story, and not just OUR story, but HER story. I realized through this thought, that there are in fact a few things I’d like her to know; a few things I keep deep in my heart, but want to make sure I make perfectly clear throughout this journey I am currently on. So consider this my open letter to my future daughter…

I want you to know that from the moment I realized you were in my life, I considered you God’s greatest gift to me. I know He gave me you for a reason and I instantly became protective of you & loved you.

I have had the privilege of traveling the world doing what I love. I have been many places and accomplished many things. From high school national records to world records to representing our country on the US Track & Field team. Running has forged the opportunity for me to have many adventures and experience many things. However, I want you to know that YOU will always be my GREATEST ADVENTURE and that being your mother will, without question, be my GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT.

My quest to continue training for the Olympic Trials will never compare to the continuous quest I will be on to be the best mother for you.

When I am having difficult days, I find strength thinking of you, my “tough little girl”. You are already a fighter and I want you to know that your mama is a fighter too. I don’t listen to the voices that say that I am giving up on my goals and dreams because I will become a mother. Because, in fact, it is just the opposite. I want to achieve my dreams even more because of how much I value you. I want to show you how to fight…how to be strong…how to stand up to adversity and punch it in the face (daintily of course!). Everything I do from this moment on is not just a reflection on me, not just a reflection on my family, not just a reflection on my husband, but a guiding path for you. I want you to know that no matter how much life’s pathway curves, you are strong enough to navigate it.

I will be a strong, positive role model for you to follow. If I fail at this, then it would be the only failure worth fretting about. I plan to show you the power in not being afraid to try … not being afraid to fail. They say actions speak louder than words … well, my favorite quote has always been, “those who dare to dream greatly must dare to fail greatly.” This is my time to show you what those words mean so that you can be proud of your mama for being daring. Finally, I want you to realize that my success will not be measured by my time or finish at the Olympic Trials. It will be measured by my ability to teach you to pursue and follow your own dreams. After all, you are my biggest goal, my biggest dream, and hopefully will be my biggest fan.

God gifted your dad and I with one tough little girl and we can’t wait to meet you.

30 week 3D ultrasound

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